There’s a trend these days that tends to make people think more about themselves when they are in a romantic relationship, than about their partners. Don’t get me wrong, this mostly happens without them knowing that is the case. The modern definition of love is superbly disguised in a cloak of selfish desire, and everybody thinks that is okay.
Maybe you haven’t thought of it this way, but it is what it is. That is the reason I’m writing this article in the hopes that someone out there will read this, and experience an awakening.
Modern Definition of Love
These days, you can pick any young adult or teen at random and ask them to define love, what you would observe however, is them expressing their narcissistic desires. The words sacrifice, patience, and commitment don’t hold sway anymore.
Everyone wants to be happy now! They want the bliss of 35 year-old marriages in just two months and get frustrated and breakup when they don’t see that happening for them. They are oblivious of the pain, struggle, and turmoil that go into building long lasting relationships.
They don’t know because they don’t want to know. As far as they are concerned, the world revolves around them, and they deserve to be endlessly happy, without no real thought to what that means for others.
Signs of selfishness widely interpreted as Love
There are many accepted seemingly romantic statements that actually portray selfishness and here are two of the most common
I want you to love me for me
This is a popular statement in the romantic world, it has been so hyped by movies and reality shows that it has become the norm. In fact, reading that statement under the title “Signs of selfishness” probably comes as a big shock to you. But that is what it is – selfish.
Let me breakdown that sentence so you get a clearer picture. If I want you to love me for me, what that implies is; I’m not willing to be a better person, I’m not committed to letting go of all my bad habits and toxic traits, and I’m probably not going to put as much effort in the relationship as you are, but if you love me, stay with me.
Now that’s a trailer load of crap – forgive my French.
I’m in search of unconditional love
This statement sounds like another natural statement, but it really isn’t. It is not natural to ask another being to love you regardless of how you are and what you bring to the table. We’re not built to operate that way.
This is how you know the statement is unnatural; do you love your partner unconditionally? If your partner wasn’t good looking, rich, charismatic, funny, smart, good in bed or fun to be with, would you love him or her the same way?
What if your partner has no legs, is mean to you, or plain overbearing, would you continue in that relationship? I hope it’s apparent to you now that even your love is conditional.
Finally, I hope you realize that even the purest love known to mankind – a mother’s love – is based on the condition of a mother-offspring relationship. No mother goes about loving every other child in the world like her own, so even that love is conditional.
Let us first learn to accept our selfish desires for what they are, for only then, can we begin to understand and genuinely love others.